"I wish that I could have this moment for life"

Technically, my title of this post is better known as "Moment 4 Life" by Nicki Minaj. As I was driving in my car today and selected the WRONG playlist on my ipod, this song got shuffled. I hear this song on the radio constantly but because it is overplayed, I NEVER listen to it. Today was a different experience.

I cannot explain how this would make any sense to anyone but myself, so I won't even attempt to explain. I just need to write this out because...well, as if you haven't noticed, I like to write....about.....whatever.

After so many months of thinking I would never feel happiness again, I realized I was in the happiest time of my life. This isn't my ideal life that I would have dreamt when I was in college. But then again, nothing in my life has ever really been planned. Moving to UT and ID for college was never planned, it was like on a whim. Moving to LA was a total whim. Moving back to SC...yeah, sort of on a whim, yet again. Each and every place I have lived, I have felt as if that was better than the last place I lived. What's the saying again??? "The grass is always greener on the other side". Well, the grass in LA is a little bit greener...and the water is a little bluer. AND the night life is a little better. Well....and the shopping is better. AND....maybe the scenery in general is just a lot better, however.....there is grass in SC. Green grass. Green grass accompanied by little flowers and bees and puppies and bunnies, and whatever else there is outside, haha.

I just all of a sudden realized while I was driving today that I was totally and completely in love with my life. Everything about it, too. My family is here.....my sister is finally becoming my best friend, something that I think we've always wanted, but there was always too much going on to get to that part of our relationship. I'm healthy. I'm in love. I have doggies. I have things to look forward to. I have a job. I don't even know what all else to even say....it's just really small things too that I am starting to see.

I actually wouldn't change anything in my life. I had a fantastic time in LA lots of the time. Maybe Sara and I had our falling outs, but I'm grateful to her because without her, I would have not had that opportunity. I've got to experience so many things that I never even thought I would. It finally occurred to me....LIFE IS FULL OF UPS AND DOWNS, THATS WHAT MAKES IT SO PERFECT.

So, I wish that I could have this moment for life. I hope I can hold on to this feeling for as long as I can. I know everything is temporary in it's own way....but.....it's about holding on and enjoying where you are right now. No looking back. Only look back to remember the
good.

Thanks, Nicki Minaj ----------->