......throw them a curve ball back. ha. Just kidding.
It has come to my attention that a very strange thing has happened to me without me knowing it. Well, I know it now, obviously, but the process was quick and painless and now I am reflecting.
I've spent a good many years of my life whining and complaining, wallowing in my misery, and being jealous of others. And all for what? For nothing. It has gotten me NOWHERE. Actually, it did take me somewhere. It took me to a dark place that I never want to be again.
My thinking was all screwed up back then (like...a months ago) and I just couldn't see any of the positive that actually existed in my life. All I saw was all the good things happening to everyone else and me sitting in the corner all alone. How did I let myself get to this point? I don't know. I honestly didn't set out to do this to myself. Had I known the damage I was causing to myself, as well as others, I would have never let it get as bad as it did.
It was extremely easy to rationalize my actions and reactions to situations and justify them because of things that happened to me in the past. Well, if everyone in the world decided that oneday they were all going to make excuses for their actions based on experiences they had in their lives, we would most definitely be living in a dangerous place (well, more dangerous than it already is, of course).
The worst part of all was that there were some really cool things happening to my friends but because I couldn't see past my own problems, I missed out on of all of it. Thinking back, that makes me really frustrated and embarrassed.
The past couple weeks I've been trying to be more positive, look at life differently, and appreciate those blessings that I receive because they've been given to me. How dare I ignore the good that Heavenly Father has so graciously decided to send my way? Just so I can look around for something better that happened to someone else? How stupid is that?
I'm so glad I figured it out, all on my own too. WELL, not completely on my own, with a little help from someone, and my massive brain, I finally got it all together. Life is great.
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